Managing Behavior in Public Places
Even living somewhere as idyllic as Collier County, parenting can be hard work. Although we have a relatively child friendly society, children are supposed to be seen and not heard in public. The parent is expected to have control of the child at all times and that children who are noisy or misbehave in public are regarded as a nuisance.
While this attitude towards children is wrong, and something society has trained itself to believe, we have to live with it. Somehow the wider population disapproves of exuberance, horseplay, loud fun and laughter. It is society that is wrong, but unless you want to take on the world, it’s easier to work with it.
There are specific situations where a young child becomes emotionally volatile, which include large groups of people, transitions between activities, when they are tired or when they are stressed. It is possible to predict that a young child can and probably will act up during these times so it’s a good idea to be aware of what they’re doing.
When they become emotionally volatile they can’t think, reason or do anything except react emotionally. They want unreasonable things, make unreasonable requests and are never satisfied with your solutions or remedies to their situation. They don’t listen and burst into tears or a tantrum at the slightest provocation.
While it might be difficult for the parent, the best approach to this time is to be as calm and as patient as you can. Set definite limits to the behavior and give them attention, while not reacting to what they’re doing. Often, letting them get whatever it is out of their system is the best way to resolve the situation.
In public there is often the added stress of what other people are thinking. Nevertheless, a good parent has to handle the situation calmly and reasonable if they want the child to calm down quickly. If you’re getting out of the car, close the doors again and sit there until the tantrum or behavior stops. Letting the child get it out of their system can make the rest of the day much brighter.
If you’re out at the store or supermarket, take the child to a corner or somewhere out the way and get a handle on the situation. Getting down to their level, putting an arm around them or offering no resistance, while still keeping control will resolve the things much quicker than fighting with the child.
Having some answers ready in your head for the inevitable comments is also a good way of deflecting society’s displeasure. The best ones I have heard so far are, “It’s my turn when they’ve finished,” or “We’re okay, it won’t last all day.” Having an answer for the question will show you’re in control.
Parenting is a skill we learn, not something we’re born with, but something we have to learn as we go along. We are expected to know everything and get it right first time all the time, but that’s just the hand we’re dealt. By handling any situation calmly and with confidence, you can cope with anything parenthood throws at you.
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